ethical non-monogamy

Also known as ENM, consensual non-monogamy, CNM.

The practice of having multiple romantic or sexual partners where all partners are aware and consenting of their partners' other partners. When done in a healthy manner, high value is given to transparency, open and honest communication, personal responsibility, autonomy, and sex positivity.

ENM is an umbrella term that encompasses polyamory, swinging, monogamish, polyfidelity, open relationships, relationship anarchy, and possibly other expressions of sexual or emotional intimacy.

Within ENM, love is typically not seen as a finite resource. The personal autonomy it grants is also often seen as a way to address colonialism and the relatively recent development of monogamy as a social default, decolonizing the individual by removing possessiveness from romantic relationships. In many societies, women have spent hundreds of years or more largely under the patriarchal control of their husbands or other male figures, to whom they are dependent for their personal and economic welfare. Because of this, ENM can be used as a personal expression of feminism.

The most common needs expressed by people practicing ENM are increased sexual diversity, philosophical views, and authentic self-expression (I.e. for some, it is an orientation rather than a lifestyle).

A thoughtful portrait of ENM, and how to use attachment theory to foster healthy relationships, is drawn in the book Polysecure by Jessica Fern.