HEARTS

A set of skills helpful for secure functioning in relationships, using attachment theory.

• H: Here - being here and present together
• E: Expressed delight - visible, tangible expressions of appreciation for the relationship
• A: Attunement - being empathetic and times in to the feelings and needs of your partner
• R: Rituals and routines - creating predictability in the day to day of the relationship
• T: Turning towards after conflict - prioritizing fast repair when in conflict, even over resolution of the conflict
• S: Secure attachment with self

With the "S"—secure attachment with self—the first five (HEART) can be applied to building that secure attachment:

• H: be here with myself
• E: express delight for myself
• A: attuning to myself
• R: rituals and routines for a secure self
• T: turning toward myself after inner conflict and doing trigger management

This framework is laid out by Jessica Fern in her book Polysecure.